Question: I have a recent rescue who is fearful of almost everything, she has been with us a month, and is fine with my daughters and I, however she still barks at my husband, and will not sit with him unless I put her on his lap. We have another dachshund who is fine, and the two get along great. What can I do to help my husband and the new dachshund bond?

Answer: Good for you for taking the time to work with this fearful new dog. Fear in dogs can be a challenging thing to deal with and MUST be dealt with properly to ensure success. First, remember that fear isn't something the dog is doing, it is something that is happening TO her. She can't help it. If she could, she wouldn't be fearful. So, you must never use force to try and deal with fear. The best way to deal with fear is by moving slowly and always respecting the dogs comfort level. That being said, I would not place her on your husbands lap. This can actually make things worse. Sure, she may sit there because she was placed there, but she is probably extremely fearful and this isn't helping her conditioned emotional response to your husband. We want her to feel happy when he is around, not just tolerate him.

Here is what I recommend. First, I would have him totally ignore her. He mustn't look at her or speak to her. Social pressure (such as looking at her, attempting to touch her, trying to get her to come to him) is too much for her. So, he will totally ignore her. Ignore the barking. Whenever he is in the room with her, he should on him the most highest value food reward that you can find she likes. Whether it's boiled chicken or little tiny pieces of steak or leftover hamburger, something very high value. When she is quiet, have him (without looking at her) toss little pieces of meat. He should also drop pieces of meat whenever she approaches him or initiates any contact with him (which might not happen for a while).

Also, I would have him handfeed her all of her meals. Don't free feed her (leave a bowl of food down) feed meals and have them come from your husbands hand. If she can't eat from his hand she is too frightened and so what you will do is have him feed her (put her bowl down) and remain in the room (but without talking or eye contact) while she eats. All her meals will come from him and in his presence so that you are shifting her emotional response from fearful to relief and good things. If she will take the food from his hands, have him hand feed her, in a sitting position, positioned sideways to her and without looking at her.

Slowly but surely she will come around. The key is move slowly. I have an extremely fearful miniature rescue who spent a year in the shelter. Because I pulled him and took care of him I won him over first, but it was a few months before he really felt comfortable with my husband. I simply had Rick ignore him and only give attention when Thomas asked for it. Last night when I got into bed Rick was already in bed and Thomas was getting into bed with me and I saw him go over and sniff and lick Rick. He also now asks Rick to pick him up sometimes when he is on the couch watching TV. It is a slow process and fear is a very delicate emotion so take your time and let your husband know it will happen.