Fathers and Mothers

Tomorrow will be celebrated as Fathers' Day in many of the worlds countries. Almost all nations have, fittingly, set aside a day each year to honor Fathers and Mothers. As both Mommy and Daddy to the senior dachshunds in my care, I have the advantage of not having to wait for a specific date each year to be honored with their love for me. They will love me as much tomorrow as they do today and as much as they did yesterday. And they will show it, whenever I walk in the room.

Someone once said "I've had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started." As I continue down my life's path, I've reflected on this thought many times. Not that I actually realized it at the time. But, as "father" to my beloved rescues, I've given up much that I could have had, so that they would not have to go without. It wasn't until just recently that I began to realize how much my Father (and yes, my Mother, too) gave up when I was growing up, so that I would not have to go without.

So where am I going with all this? Well, one thing that has stuck out in my mind over the years was something that happened at dinner one day. We were having pork chops. We had enough pork chops for one each, with one left over. When I finished my pork chop, I was still hungry. I asked for (and was given) the last pork chop. I was too young to realize at the time that my parents had just gone hungry themselves, so that I wouldn't have to.

Now I find myself, willingly, starting to do the same things for my dogs, that my parents did for me. All so that my beloved babies won't have to go without.

Someone needs medical care? Well, maybe the A/C or heat doesn't really need to be in use for a few weeks.
Almost out of dog food? Well, potted meat and vienna sausages can make a pretty filling meal for me.
Dogs need flea control? Well, payday is just a few days after my Visa statement closes. By the time the bill arrives, I'll have determined what else I can go without, in order to pay it.

I've come to realize that my Father and Mother made decisions like these every day that I was growing up. I grew up not wanting for anything. Not having everything, of course, but in my mind, we were never poor. They went without, so that I could have more. And I see myself doing the same, even without realizing at the time that it was what I was doing.

Now, I'm getting ready to make my biggest sacrifice - at least as far as material items are concerned. To build my sanctuary and home is going to take every resource I am likely to have access to for the next 20 to 30 years. People who know of my plans, but can't understand them, often ask "Why?". For the very same reason you would make the same sacrifice for your children. Because I want "my children" to have more. Because I'm willing to go without, so that they won't have to. The same willingness that my parents (and yours too, I'm sure) had to go without, in order to ensure that you didn't have to.

"But they're just dogs", they say. "You can get others." Well, what if I were to respond that "they're just children - you can make more of them."? People would be upset, yet don't seem to feel I should be upset at the same insinuation made about my rescues. I brought them into this home and in my mind, that means that I assumed responsibility for them for life, not until they become financially inconvenient. I can go without and understand why. The dogs can't, just as your children can't.

So, do I qualify as a Father? Or a Mother? Do my rescues qualify as "my children"? I believe the answer to all three questions is "YES!". It took me many years, far more than I care to admit, to really learn the lessons my Father and Mother were teaching me as I was growing up. Now that I am a "parent" myself, I can only hope that I am doing as good a job for "my children" as they did for me.

"The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get."
"Average fathers have patience. Good fathers have more patience. Great fathers have an ocean of patience."
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person. He believed in me."
"Your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life."
"The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears."
"This is part of the essence of motherhood, watching your kid grow into their own person and not being able to do anything about it. Otherwise children would be nothing more than pets."

Benny